i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
