is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
