I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
