Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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