Do you still have your period?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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