therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
