Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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