Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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