yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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