i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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