she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
