Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
