Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
