I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
