What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
