Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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