): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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