At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
