YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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