Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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