This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
