listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
