While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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