So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
