I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
