I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
