Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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