On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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