He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
