Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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