Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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