There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
