i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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