Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
MIDGETS
????
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
