My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
