She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
