Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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