did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
