Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
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