brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
