why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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