I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
