they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
