I could make wine with my vomit
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
