Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
