i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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