he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
