is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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