oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
