do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
