Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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