Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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