I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
