Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Dick very happy bro
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
