we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
