I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Randomize