I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
