the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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