I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
