There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
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